Some thoughts on parenthood

I'll start this with a picture to keep everyone's interest:



Since I grew past my teenage years I've always looked back and found teenagers to generally be irritating, dimwitted, and not really worth bothering with. I'd assumed that after my ill-advised attempt to teach 8th grade that I'd washed my hands of them and was rather pleased with that.

Tonight it hit me that not only have I completely screwed up my plan to not deal with teenagers but I have, in fact, wound up and placed that ticking clock of inevitability right in my lap. In 15 or 16 years Viv is going to be dragging home some ridiculous looking, pimply faced little dork that she adores and all I'll be able to do is grit my teeth and smile.

I've been pondering what to do about this...

My buddy Kyle and I always joked that if we ever had a daughter that we'd need a porch, a shotgun, and a big-ass jug of whiskey. The porch needs to be tall and spacious enough so that when you hang your daughter's date by his ankle off the porch that his head doesn't scrape the ground, his free leg doesn't knock over your drink, and you still have room to wave the shotgun menacingly.

Guess I'll go gun shopping soon.

Pediatrician visit #2

Little Viv went to see Dr. Hales again this morning and he's quite pleased with her progress. She's a little bit longer but the exciting bit is that she's up to a whopping 8 lb 4 oz (3.74 kg or .59 stone, if you prefer). She goes back again in a month for her first round of immunizations, which Alice is already dreading.

Alice also learned that the fact that Vivienne occasionally has a little spit up come through her nose pretty much just bothers her mom, and not Viv, since it's perfectly normal.

More pictures

Steph

My cousin in Atlanta, Stephanie, is having a little one in a couple months and she's looking great doing it.

(insert unapproved belly pic here)

It's just too bad the Atlanta Falcons did her wrong tonight.

Pictures

I'm not even going to try and top my dad's post, I'll just put some pictures up.

Grandpa Alan comments.......

From the first picture that appeared in my email, I strongly felt that my first grandchild might well hold the title of World's Cutest Baby, or WCB for short.
But images and first impressions can be deceiving.
For example, when Curtis was born, I did not hesitate to declare him the WCB, as in my relative youth I had not yet realized that cuteness is fleeting and can diminish with time.
Like the time he was five, and stood on my front porch in the company of the local constable who had observed Curt launching projectiles at passing vehicles from behind a tree. His cuteness diminished a bit before my very eyes. Or the time when he was 16, and I, faced with a the prospect of replacing the entire drive train from a fairly new vehicle, realized that the WCB was, in reality, more of an incarnation of Evil Knievel when in control of any motor vehicle. An Evil Knievel knockoff can be many things, but 'cute' seems like an inappropriate adjective.
So here I am in New Orleans, looking directly into the just-learned-to-focus dark eyes of my new granddaughter and can say with unchallenged certainty that she is indeed the World's Cutest Baby, or WCB, and in all likelihood the World's Most Perfect Child, or WMPC.
I am also certain that this title will be retained throughout life as I will never be the one to face the officer on the porch, or be handed the repair bill on the car, or deal with dozens of other potential instances that could reveal a flaw in her perfection.
Granted, Alice and Curt might be faced, from time to time, in the out years, with these unfortunate types of circumstances. But I will be able comfort myself in the knowledge that these instances were the creation of, and most certainly the fault of, Vivienne's parents.. for the the Worlds Most Perfect Child will never be able to do wrong, and if she should ever find herself in some kind of 'difficulty' she will likely be able to turn to her Grandfather for comfort and reward for having to put up with parents that would allow her to get into any kind of trouble.
After all, how could the WMPC ever be flawed without parental misdirection.


Grandpa Alan

Grandpa!

He made it!



We'll put up some more pics tomorrow. Also, congrats Dave and Kerry- you've won the photoshop contest. There shall be a reward of some sort coming your way, just as soon as we figure out what it is :)

American Airlines still sucks

3:19 a.m.- American was supposed to have my dad here at 4:10 yesterday afternoon.

They must be the same idiots handling debris removal in New Orleans.

American Airlines Sucks

I've been saying this for a dozen or so years now. They are consistently late, incompetent, unapologetic, and just generally suck.

For example...

My dad had a flight from Bloomington, IL to Chicago and down to New Orleans. They blew his original flight (2.5 hours late) then said they'd put him on a flight for N.O. that would have him here at 10:30- 6 hours past his sheduled arrival.

This should have been enough to disgust any typical traveller, but AA decided if they're gonna piss on your leg, they're gonna get it really wet. He isn't even leaving Chicago until 12:15 and won't arrive in N.O. until sometime around 2:30 this morning- nearly 12 hours after his 'scheduled' arrival.

Next time, just rent a donkey and get a box of takeout from Popeye's. You'll get there faster and be much better fed.

And here's a pic of Viv:

Another photoshop entry

Here's an entry from Dave and Kerry in Seattle:

"Viv at Mardi Gras World"



Keep em coming people, the contest ends at midnight tonight!

p.s.- Grandpa Jarand flies in from Illinois this afternoon, so we'll have some new pictures up with him this weekend.

Big Pukes

Last night was monumental - we got seven hours of uninterrupted sleep! Needless to say, after a long sleep like that, Viv woke up hungry. She ate for almost 35 minutes, which is a long time for her. When I burped her she launched a projectile spit-up at me. Later in the morning after she amused herself looking at various toys, I had her slung over my shoulder. She vomited down my back, wetting my shirt, my pants, and the carpet. This was enough to make me call the pediatrician. I mean, I get that kids spit up. This just seemed a bit much. The pediatrician said not to worry unless it continued, which it did not. We guess it was just 'cause she had such a big breakfast', although she's eaten big meals before. Later, she fussed a bit on an outing to bring Curt to Metairie, and she actually had a real tear in her right eye. This is the second time we've noticed this, but we haven't noticed any tears in her left eye yet. She capped off her eventful day by peeing on her grandmother (and a bit on Angus) at bath time. She must have gotten a kick out of that because she didn't fuss at all for this bath.

Hey y'all

We don't really have anything earthshaking to announce. Viv slept for 6 hours last night- this may be due to our 'program' or it may be sheer luck. At any rate, Alice put this on her head:



We also put some stuff on Viv's head:



and on Angus:

Viv's first full bath

She had her first full bath today.


She likes the warm water, but hates when she gets pulled out of it.



Also, the EASY deal Alice wrote about earlier seems to actually be working. She's been about 95% less fussy and is starting to sleep on somewhat of a predictable schedule. Admittedly, it's just the first 24 hours of us trying it, but so far so good.

Sunday Night

Well, last night was interesting. We have decided to attempt to get on the Baby Whisperer's E.A.S.Y. schedule - Eat, Activity, Sleep, You. We tried this when Viv first got home, but she quickly convinced us to spend our nights taking turns falling asleep on the couch while holding her. Last night it struck us that we'd never sleep in our bed again or without Viv in our arms if we didn't start a new routine right away. So we did our first EASY block at around 8pm and she woke up at 11 for a feeding and had some mobile time in her crib. Then it was a real struggle of wills to get her to sleep again. We'd put her in her bassinet, and she'd start off quiet, then whimper a little softly, and then begin to wail. Then Curt would pick her up and she'd instantly quiet down, so we figured it wasn't gas or a diaper issue. This lasted until 1:40 am when I finally decided to attempt to feed her again. She calmed down after eating only a little bit and I managed to put her in the bassinet while still groggy. We were rewarded with 6 1/2 hours of uninterrupted sleep! Since waking she has eaten and had some activity time - being changed twice, looking at the mobile again, and looking out of the slats of the blinds in her room. Amazingly, once she seemed groggy I was able to swaddle her and put her in her bassinet without a fuss. We are really hoping this works for us so we can all sleep a little better and so that we can better understand what Viv's crying about when she does cry.

For Carl

Sunday Evening

We just put Viv in her bassinet about an hour ago and she's been peaceful since then, we even had the chance to eat an uninterrupted dinner. We'll see how tonight goes, but it looks to be off to a good start at this point.

Pacifier Question

Al and I, in act of desperation tried introducing a pacifier last night. She wanted none of it- in fact, it just made her howl more.

So, for all of you that have tried pacifiers (on your baby, that is), when did you start it, and did it help?

Last Night

Last night was not a whole lot of fun. I was planning on getting up this morning and making a pizza for the Saint's game that's on in an hour. Seeing as how I just woke up though, and Al is still asleep, I'm not so sure about the pizza plan.

Anyway, I managed to stick it out until 4:15 last night with Viv looking pretty much like this the whole time:



I think she's just startled that her parents are too clueless to figure out how to get her to sleep.

It's not for a lack of trying though. Alice and I have tried every imaginable trick to slide her into the bassinet on those rare occasions when her eyes close between 10:00 pm and 5:00 am. There's just no fooling her though.

First Photoshop Entry

Grammie Marjie sent the first entry, showing just how Viv feels about getting a bath.



I have to admit, I'm not entirely thrilled about my daughter giving me the finger with the elephant man's hand.

One more

Grumble

For anyone that's tried to post in the last 36 hours or so- I had the comment moderation settings f'd up. I fixed it and y'all can post comments again.

Sorry.

Saturday

Little Vivienne is sad that nobody has photoshopped her yet- just look at her:



Actually, she's probably just tired since she slept a grand total of about 4.2 minutes last night. She's had a fairly busy day, so maybe tonight will better.

Anyway, here's some more pics:

Photoshop Contest

Alice and I are pleased to announce the first 'Photoshop Vivienne' contest. That's right, it's your chance to win a fabulous (and as of yet, undetermined) prize for simply sending Alice or I, via e-mail, your photoshopped Vivienne picture. Dress her up, put her on a zebra, give her horns- the only limit is your imagination. Submissions will be accepted through 9:00 p.m central time, Friday, September 22. All submissions will be proudly displayed by Viv on her blog and the winner will be announced a week from tomorrow.

Here's some inspiration- burrito baby:



Good luck and may the best geek win!

Spiffier

Viv had a question about whether or not I could spiff up her site a little, so I did. There's a few small changes in layout and how comments are handled and she can now track who's checking up on her :)

Viv also recommends that the 41.67% of you that are using Internet Explorer switch to Mozilla Firefox for your web browser- she knows who you are, so don't try denying it.

Also, she hates getting a bath:

Friday

Not much new to report. As expected, last night didn't go all that well but it certainly wasn't the worst night so far.

I'm taking my car in this afternoon to get repaired, since, in some sort of lack of sleep daze or moment of stupidity I backed into Alice's aunt Pat's car this last weekend. Minor damage to both vehicles, fortunately.

I'll probably post something with a few more pictures later tonight, but these will have to do for now.

Impossible

Viv slept for almost 7 hours straight last night. Her mom and I were fairly baffled by it this morning, but neither of us recollects getting up during the night. It doesn't bode well for tonight though.

That's about all there is to report. Her bellybutton is healing up well and she's growing like a weed.

Stubby

Viv lost the little dried nub of her umbilical cord about an hour ago. Her mother has just now calmed down and realized the baby isn't broken.

Stubby:

Not snoozin'

Last night was rough. Viv had us up so much that neither Al or I can even remember how many times she fed and I changed her. The current trend has been one good night, one bad night, so we're hoping that tonight is alright.

Here's the thing though- she's tricky. You can tell by looking at her. She waits until her mom and I are convinced she's asleep and we try to put her in her bassinet before she really starts to howl. Every time you turn your back, she's watching- she knows.

Just look at this picture above. Everything about this picture says 'I'm asleep', except for the eye. Alice and I have taken to calling it 'pirate eye', we might even have to get her a patch for the other one. At any rate, you only get pirate eye when you do something that Viv doesn't approve of and she pretty much disapproves of everything besides being fed or bounced on my shoulder.

Snoozin'

Last night we put her in the bassinet at 11:30 and she slept until 3:00. Her mom then fed her for a while and she went back to sleep from 4:00 until 7:30. It was the best night of sleep we've had in the last 2 1/2 weeks but I suspect that tonight will not go as smoothly.

Here she is: plotting, scheming, planning and all those kinda of things:

This is the picture....

that Vivienne will hate me for when I show it to her prom date 17 or so years from now:


At any rate, this gives a fairly accurate impression of what she does most of the day. She managed to really impress her mom and I earlier by peeing off the end of her changing table. At least she peed off the end with the clothing hamper, so there was plenty of material to soak it up.

In other news-

KUNG FU TIME SUCKA!


You best not touch the puppy blanket Unkie Scott and Auntie Connie got for her.

And.... her grandpa Alan is coming down in a week and a half, so no need to harass him.

Something new

We're trying out something new today and it seems to be going over well so far:



Supposedly, babies that are carried for at least 3 hours a day in a papoose (or babybjorn, in our case) are less prone to fussing for no reason than other babies. Plus, she seems to really like it so far. You also get to wander around and have your arms free to do things, such as the mounds of laundry she generates.

My dad, grandpa Alan, is supposed to sort out today when he can make it down here from Illinois, which he says will happen in the next few weeks. If he doesn't give me an exact date today I'll give out his e-mail address here, so everyone can start harrassing him.

Also, I'll be heading back in to the lab for more or less full time starting tomorrow. So, wish Alice luck. :)

Remembrance

Alice and I were a bit preoccupied with delivering Viv to think much about the anniversary of Katrina. So, we took her out today to see the memorial in our parish on the Mississippi River Gulf Outlet (MRGO) canal. The eye of the storm passed over St. Bernard and the memorial sits on the banks of the of the canal that holds much of the responsibility for drowning our community. When Katrina made landfall, the manmade waterway behind the memorial had a 30+ foot surge come raging up it. This canal was built back in the late 50's and has been an environmental disaster ever since. Huge tracts of cypress swamp have died from saltwater intrusion- the same tracts of land that have protected New Orleans in the past. Additionally, the canal has an average of only 5-7 deepwater vessels per week come up it and costs over $40 million per year to dredge.

I see more deepwater vessels pass by us on the Mississippi while I drink coffee on the porch in the morning than go up this damn canal in a week. It's high past time this thing was closed and Orleans parish, St. Bernard parish and the State of Louisiana have joined in a lawsuit against the Corps of Engineers to close it.

You're probably wondering why I've had this long rant on here. The reason is my daughter:


We have an opportunity to close this thing once and for all and make it a little safer for Viv. So, contact your local congressional leaders and tell them that keeping this thing open is unacceptable.